Thursday, September 1, 2011
Lost
Today while i was cleaning our living room a bee entered through our balcony door. i just let it flew around as long as it wouldn't come near me. Maybe it just wanted to see what is inside our home, the problem is when it tried to get out it flew through the glass wall, could it be that bees have vision problem? It keep bumping on the wall but still forced itself out. Of course it couldn't, it will just hurt itself. Crazy and not thinking.
I wanted to help the poor creature out but i am scared to be stung so i just let it find its way, it has find its way in, it should be able to find it's way out.
Come to think of it, aren't we sometimes like this bee? We know its not right but we still keep on insisting on things. We know will get hurt but we always choose that path. And most of the time we take life as an adventure and we make a mess out of it, we expect other people to pull us out.
People reacted to us the way a did, I can't be bothered with your predicament,i have my own things to attend to. selfish as it may seem i am not excused to this kind of attitude. While other asks our help, we don't care, we will only act if things get out of control and sometimes our actions becomes futile.
What has become of compassion then? This bee didn't just gave me a good subject for photography, it also help me realize that as a human we need to care to others in need and give help freely while the beneficiary can still enjoy it not when it is too late.
What happened to the bee? It die, someone hit it with a swatter. I tried to stop her from doing it but my caution came too late. I was planning to guide it out but i was a step behind.
Lost
Today while i was cleaning our living room a bee entered through our balcony door. i just let it flew around as long as it wouldn't come near me. Maybe it just wanted to see what is inside our home, the problem is when it tried to get out it flew through the glass wall, could it be that bees have vision problem? It keep bumping on the wall but still forced itself out. Of course it couldn't, it will just hurt itself. Crazy and not thinking.
I wanted to help the poor creature out but i am scared to be stung so i just let it find its way, it has find its way in, it should be able to find it's way out.
Come to think of it, aren't we sometimes like this bee? We know its not right but we still keep on insisting on things. We know will get hurt but we always choose that path. And most of the time we take life as an adventure and we make a mess out of it, we expect other people to pull us out.
People reacted to us the way a did, I can't be bothered with your predicament,i have my own things to attend to. selfish as it may seem i am not excused to this kind of attitude. While other asks our help, we don't care, we will only act if things get out of control and sometimes our actions becomes futile.
What has become of compassion then? This bee didn't just gave me a good subject for photography, it also help me realize that as a human we need to care to others in need and give help freely while the beneficiary can still enjoy it not when it is too late.
What happened to the bee? It die, someone hit it with a swatter. I tried to stop her from doing it but my caution came too late. I was planning to guide it out but i was a step behind.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
ECHOES
Listen to their hearts' cry, it may echo your own.
INNER THOUGHTS
Working away from home i often joked about escaping diaper change and midnight feedings, maybe I just don't want to linger on the thought of how it tears a little hole in my heart to leave behind those angels. I often acted strong and unaffected by their sad faces everytime I am leaving, I tell funny stories that make them laugh, i want to keep the ring of their laughter and giggles in my heart.
I always keep my distance even i am with them, it is to protect my self from the pain and physical longing for them when i am away. I keep a stern personality on them, and held back all emotions so they will not miss me too much. I always sheid away with these thoughts, i drowned myself with work and anything that could keep my mind occupied. However, in the middle of the night i would often wake up with the thoughts i always avoided. Their cries, excited voices and cute stories kept ringing in my ears. My heart is crying and i can not just dismiss the ache and physical longing for them, as if a tether bound me surely as any umbilical cord, a sharing of emotions for the five of us. I asked many times how i was able to live away from them, and i looked back at my life and their faces keep flashing in my mind, i saw my dreams for them and knew i cant give that all, if i stay.
I can give them all the love but not the future we dreamed for them.
They are still too young to fully understand the circumstances, but in time i know they will.
INNER VOICES:
It is such a wonderful place with flowers of all colors in blooms, my insatiable passion for nature is filled, its a wonderful treat for anybody's eyes. My childlike spirit was freed.
I was so engrossed chasing butterflies and was oblivious that i was drifting away from everyone. I wanted to catch it so i kept following where it fly. It moves so swift that i cant get a better chance i always a step behind. I was tired of running so i looked around and realized i was all alone. I looked around but there was nobody in sight except those endless flower fields. I retraced my steps but i always ended up on the same place. I was trapped in a maze and i find it difficult to get out. Panic was eating me up and i started to call out names but my voice just bounces back to me. I was too tired and starving so i decided to sit and tried to gather my thoughts so I could figure out which way will lead me out.
I may have doze off and dream, i heard voices familiar to me but i cant distinguish who is saying what. There are angry, encouraging, happy and loving, they are talking altogether at the same time that it confuses me.
I bring my self to wake up, only to realize that i was really dreaming. I was alone because i chose to lead that life and shut myself away from those who care for me, and the voices that nags me is deep with in my heart.
FEAR:
Your eyes is boring into my soul,
You wanted to tell me something but i refused to understand,
You extended your hand but i dont want to reach out,
You wanted to talk to me but i pretended not to hear,
You tried to seek my attention but i tried to be occupied.
I dont want to look into your eyes because i am scared to see that there is nothing left for me.
I dont want to listen because i am scared that i will understand your reason.
I dont want to give my attention because i am scared to get used to it.
I dont want to reach out because i am scared you will let my hand go.
I dont want to dream anymore because i am afraid to fail.
I dont want to open up to anyone because i am scared to be neglected,
I dont want to trust because i was betrayed badly that it shattered my confidence.
Fear, just a four letter word, but it can do much damage to you and me.
INNER THOUGHTS
Working away from home i often joked about escaping diaper change and midnight feedings, maybe I just don't want to linger on the thought of how it tears a little hole in my heart to leave behind those angels. I often acted strong and unaffected by their sad faces everytime I am leaving, I tell funny stories that make them laugh, i want to keep the ring of their laughter and giggles in my heart.
I always keep my distance even i am with them, it is to protect my self from the pain and physical longing for them when i am away. I keep a stern personality on them, and held back all emotions so they will not miss me too much. I always sheid away with these thoughts, i drowned myself with work and anything that could keep my mind occupied. However, in the middle of the night i would often wake up with the thoughts i always avoided. Their cries, excited voices and cute stories kept ringing in my ears. My heart is crying and i can not just dismiss the ache and physical longing for them, as if a tether bound me surely as any umbilical cord, a sharing of emotions for the five of us. I asked many times how i was able to live away from them, and i looked back at my life and their faces keep flashing in my mind, i saw my dreams for them and knew i cant give that all, if i stay.
I can give them all the love but not the future we dreamed for them.
They are still too young to fully understand the circumstances, but in time i know they will.
INNER VOICES:
It is such a wonderful place with flowers of all colors in blooms, my insatiable passion for nature is filled, its a wonderful treat for anybody's eyes. My childlike spirit was freed.
I was so engrossed chasing butterflies and was oblivious that i was drifting away from everyone. I wanted to catch it so i kept following where it fly. It moves so swift that i cant get a better chance i always a step behind. I was tired of running so i looked around and realized i was all alone. I looked around but there was nobody in sight except those endless flower fields. I retraced my steps but i always ended up on the same place. I was trapped in a maze and i find it difficult to get out. Panic was eating me up and i started to call out names but my voice just bounces back to me. I was too tired and starving so i decided to sit and tried to gather my thoughts so I could figure out which way will lead me out.
I may have doze off and dream, i heard voices familiar to me but i cant distinguish who is saying what. There are angry, encouraging, happy and loving, they are talking altogether at the same time that it confuses me.
I bring my self to wake up, only to realize that i was really dreaming. I was alone because i chose to lead that life and shut myself away from those who care for me, and the voices that nags me is deep with in my heart.
FEAR:
Your eyes is boring into my soul,
You wanted to tell me something but i refused to understand,
You extended your hand but i dont want to reach out,
You wanted to talk to me but i pretended not to hear,
You tried to seek my attention but i tried to be occupied.
I dont want to look into your eyes because i am scared to see that there is nothing left for me.
I dont want to listen because i am scared that i will understand your reason.
I dont want to give my attention because i am scared to get used to it.
I dont want to reach out because i am scared you will let my hand go.
I dont want to dream anymore because i am afraid to fail.
I dont want to open up to anyone because i am scared to be neglected,
I dont want to trust because i was betrayed badly that it shattered my confidence.
Fear, just a four letter word, but it can do much damage to you and me.
While Looking for Happiness
Reality bites but we will never realize what we got until it slip in our hands.
There was man, he had a lovely family. A nice wife and two beautiful kids. Both children got his looks. The wife is a family oriented woman. She gave a dream career for her family. For the first few years of their marriage life, it was pure bliss but as years go by the sparke slowly faded.
One day the man approached his wife and told her he want out. The wife was so surprised she was not able to utter any word. The man told her, he just couldnt find the same excitement everytime he goes home. He said he wanted a space. The wife though hurt, never say any word. She told his husband whatever makes him happy he should go after it, life is precious and one should live it fully. The man was so glad he started to pack his things. Before he bid goodbye to his chldren he asked the wife to keep the truth from their them. That they will just tell them he is going to work away from home.
But the wife, declined and told the man that he should be responsible enough for whatever actions he should take. Childrens no matter how young, deserve to know what is happening to their family the best they could understand. The man was a bit pissed off with the idea, and told the wife she is being uncooperative. The wife told the man that their home should be a place where children could learn values they can bring out. So the man was forced to tell the kids. He said that his leaving is just temporary. He will come back when he find himself. The eldest child ask the father, ' how come you cant find yourself father? You dont need to look beyond your heart to know what you are looking for. The man was dumbfounded, but he still left.
Living alone, he was just too glad to enjoy life, no wife that nag him, no kids to compete with the tv shows he want to watch, no one to disturb his time. He was busy enjoying his freedom that he forget to get in touch with his family. He knew his wife was a good housewife and that she will always keep their home a safe haven for their family.
Having this thoughts, he suddenly miss the laughter and the noise of the children. He missed the home made breakfast his wife never failed to prepare for him, he realized how empty his life, the silence is deafening. He realized he missed his family too much that there is no better place to be than their noisy home. He knew he have always a place to come back should things get these far. With a smile and renewed outlook toward his family, he pack his things and find his way back.
He was singing with happiness and can't wait to see the people he left. They would be so happy to see me again, he thought.
Upon reaching their gate, he was calling the childrens' and wife's name. But to his dismay, nobody answered, he ring the bell and it took a while before he heard a noise going to the door. When the door opened he was surprise to see his wife on the wheelchair, too skinny and wearing a scarf on her head. She looked gaunt and old. She didnt say any word, but opened the door for him to come in as she wheeled her self to the living room. No noisy children came to greet him. Although he wasn't greeted with anymosity, something was lacking. He came to his wife and kneel in front of her, when he held her hand, he couldnt control his sob, he just put her hand on his chest and keep on crying. His wife just let him settle, and when he did, she said, ' i am glad you find your way back, welcome home.' However, it took you a bit longer,but its good you come back before i left. The man was puzzled, the wife told him, she is just waiting for her time. She had been sick for a long time but he was too busy finding himself that he didnt notice that the illness is slowly taking her away. ' I was trying to hold on until you come back, I tried to be strong despite the pain. I am just too glad that you are here now.
Hours later the children came home, and was too happy to see him again. No questions asked. Then they handed him a box and told him that those are the things they make every time they missed him. Tears just can't stop falling while he was looking at each of his childrens' work of art. And he promised himself that he will never leave his family again.
They ate dinner together and talked a lot of things, his children have grown up a lot and has matured too early. He have many things to tell them especially his wife but thought he had plenty of time to do it. Little did he know that it was the last time he would ever see his wife smile and hear her voice. She never woke up the next morning.
Authors note: This blog was originally posted in my other homepage
http://my.opera.com/RachelJuleiane/blog
There was man, he had a lovely family. A nice wife and two beautiful kids. Both children got his looks. The wife is a family oriented woman. She gave a dream career for her family. For the first few years of their marriage life, it was pure bliss but as years go by the sparke slowly faded.
One day the man approached his wife and told her he want out. The wife was so surprised she was not able to utter any word. The man told her, he just couldnt find the same excitement everytime he goes home. He said he wanted a space. The wife though hurt, never say any word. She told his husband whatever makes him happy he should go after it, life is precious and one should live it fully. The man was so glad he started to pack his things. Before he bid goodbye to his chldren he asked the wife to keep the truth from their them. That they will just tell them he is going to work away from home.
But the wife, declined and told the man that he should be responsible enough for whatever actions he should take. Childrens no matter how young, deserve to know what is happening to their family the best they could understand. The man was a bit pissed off with the idea, and told the wife she is being uncooperative. The wife told the man that their home should be a place where children could learn values they can bring out. So the man was forced to tell the kids. He said that his leaving is just temporary. He will come back when he find himself. The eldest child ask the father, ' how come you cant find yourself father? You dont need to look beyond your heart to know what you are looking for. The man was dumbfounded, but he still left.
Living alone, he was just too glad to enjoy life, no wife that nag him, no kids to compete with the tv shows he want to watch, no one to disturb his time. He was busy enjoying his freedom that he forget to get in touch with his family. He knew his wife was a good housewife and that she will always keep their home a safe haven for their family.
Having this thoughts, he suddenly miss the laughter and the noise of the children. He missed the home made breakfast his wife never failed to prepare for him, he realized how empty his life, the silence is deafening. He realized he missed his family too much that there is no better place to be than their noisy home. He knew he have always a place to come back should things get these far. With a smile and renewed outlook toward his family, he pack his things and find his way back.
He was singing with happiness and can't wait to see the people he left. They would be so happy to see me again, he thought.
Upon reaching their gate, he was calling the childrens' and wife's name. But to his dismay, nobody answered, he ring the bell and it took a while before he heard a noise going to the door. When the door opened he was surprise to see his wife on the wheelchair, too skinny and wearing a scarf on her head. She looked gaunt and old. She didnt say any word, but opened the door for him to come in as she wheeled her self to the living room. No noisy children came to greet him. Although he wasn't greeted with anymosity, something was lacking. He came to his wife and kneel in front of her, when he held her hand, he couldnt control his sob, he just put her hand on his chest and keep on crying. His wife just let him settle, and when he did, she said, ' i am glad you find your way back, welcome home.' However, it took you a bit longer,but its good you come back before i left. The man was puzzled, the wife told him, she is just waiting for her time. She had been sick for a long time but he was too busy finding himself that he didnt notice that the illness is slowly taking her away. ' I was trying to hold on until you come back, I tried to be strong despite the pain. I am just too glad that you are here now.
Hours later the children came home, and was too happy to see him again. No questions asked. Then they handed him a box and told him that those are the things they make every time they missed him. Tears just can't stop falling while he was looking at each of his childrens' work of art. And he promised himself that he will never leave his family again.
They ate dinner together and talked a lot of things, his children have grown up a lot and has matured too early. He have many things to tell them especially his wife but thought he had plenty of time to do it. Little did he know that it was the last time he would ever see his wife smile and hear her voice. She never woke up the next morning.
Authors note: This blog was originally posted in my other homepage
http://my.opera.com/RachelJuleiane/blog
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Pillars of Marriage
In one of the Sundays i attended the cathecism class we talked about married life since some of the participants are undergoing preparation for marriage seminar. The lecturer made a very simple example how couple can be childish in treating married life.
There was this couple who is undergoing marriage counseling. After just three years of married life, they are filing for legal separation the reason is irreconcilable differences. Funny as it seem but the one thing they could not agree upon is how to use the toothpaste, the woman wanted that the toothpaste be squeezed from bottom to neck, and the husband just ignore and do it his way- squeezing near the neck.
The woman got pissed off to keep repeating (talk of being an obsessive-compulsive person) and started to nag, the man hates being nagged about things he thought he does right.
Simple things lead to big fight , pride come between them and no one wants to set it aside so they resorted to the easiest way out- live their own lives.
The counselor just smiled while both of them vents their anger toward each other. She asked each of them to tell what is the good thing they can say of each other, they realized that it is more than just the toothpaste, both of them makes each other laugh at the simplest joke they tell. So the counselor asked them why cant just they have separate tube of toothpaste first and use it according to how they want and see if it makes them happy. They considered the suggestion, the man just dont feel nice doing it and prefers to share what the wife is using, and the woman felt the same. They went back to the counselor for their session and tell about what they feel having to use separate toothpaste tube. Both of them agreed it doesnt make sense.
The counselor told them: when you decided to get married, you were bounded by an invisible knot to SHARE everything: joys, pain, tears. You will be your partner's other leg when he or she find it difficult to walk. You will be each other's strength when one of you is weak. You will be the reason for him or her to smile when one of you is sad. That is LOVE.
Even the smallest secret you keep in the deepest corner of your heart you dont have any worry telling him or her because you TRUST him/her.
When you are married, you don't just think for yourself but for your partner also that is called RESPECT. You have to take into consideration each others feelings.
It is a series of adjustment for both of you and often will test your PATIENCE, because you will only get to know each other while you are growing together.
Marriage is a matter of COMPROMISE its not just an 'i' 'me' nor 'you'. Its always a case of 'we'.
Think about it.
Marriage often failed because of SELFISHNESS.
There was this couple who is undergoing marriage counseling. After just three years of married life, they are filing for legal separation the reason is irreconcilable differences. Funny as it seem but the one thing they could not agree upon is how to use the toothpaste, the woman wanted that the toothpaste be squeezed from bottom to neck, and the husband just ignore and do it his way- squeezing near the neck.
The woman got pissed off to keep repeating (talk of being an obsessive-compulsive person) and started to nag, the man hates being nagged about things he thought he does right.
Simple things lead to big fight , pride come between them and no one wants to set it aside so they resorted to the easiest way out- live their own lives.
The counselor just smiled while both of them vents their anger toward each other. She asked each of them to tell what is the good thing they can say of each other, they realized that it is more than just the toothpaste, both of them makes each other laugh at the simplest joke they tell. So the counselor asked them why cant just they have separate tube of toothpaste first and use it according to how they want and see if it makes them happy. They considered the suggestion, the man just dont feel nice doing it and prefers to share what the wife is using, and the woman felt the same. They went back to the counselor for their session and tell about what they feel having to use separate toothpaste tube. Both of them agreed it doesnt make sense.
The counselor told them: when you decided to get married, you were bounded by an invisible knot to SHARE everything: joys, pain, tears. You will be your partner's other leg when he or she find it difficult to walk. You will be each other's strength when one of you is weak. You will be the reason for him or her to smile when one of you is sad. That is LOVE.
Even the smallest secret you keep in the deepest corner of your heart you dont have any worry telling him or her because you TRUST him/her.
When you are married, you don't just think for yourself but for your partner also that is called RESPECT. You have to take into consideration each others feelings.
It is a series of adjustment for both of you and often will test your PATIENCE, because you will only get to know each other while you are growing together.
Marriage is a matter of COMPROMISE its not just an 'i' 'me' nor 'you'. Its always a case of 'we'.
Think about it.
Marriage often failed because of SELFISHNESS.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sixth Year
'I dont promise a smooth ride but i assure you that whatever happens i will stay married to you until i breathe my last. Thank you for the understanding and love, no number can quantify my love for you. . ' . . . 'six years, together we will stay until our hair turns gray, i will cry in your sorrow, i will dry your tears, and i will bask in your smile. . '
:love: so sweet. It always touch my heart to see couples staying inlove with their partners everyday in their lives. Today, my bestfriend celebrate that milestone in their marriage. Although 6 years is not that long but we, pray that you will be able to overcome whatever problems that may come to your family.
When things go wrong, always remember that you chose her to be your wife because she is the best partner there is, look not into each others fault but rather dwell on the thoughts she did that made you smile.
Asawa kita
Sawa na sila
Awa nalang ang natitira
Wala na kahit awa kaya
Away na palagi.
I know you wont let that happen.
Whatever may come never lost the Love and Respect with each other. Grow old together and be each other's bestfriend.
Happy sixth year anniversary, Bestfriend, may God always bless your marriage with peace and hoping for a Baby Tess. Ninang kami.
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